You’ve just accepted a new job opportunity. Or perhaps there is a new face at the company where you currently work. Either way, we all know that being the “new guy/gal” can be intimidating. Besides your day-to-day activities where you will likely interact with new people, there will also be time for engaging in friendly, casual conversations perhaps at an office holiday party or a team lunch.
Whether small talk is your forte or the mere mention of it makes you cringe, you probably want to be extra cautious on your first day or so in a new workplace. You want to make a good first impression and at the same time, make valuable connections that will help you get along with your new co-worker(s).
You’ll notice a couple things in common with the questions I’m about to recommend that make them the perfect non-intrusive questions to ask. a) They are not work/career related. Everyone wants to take their mind off of work every now and again and b) They do not mention any personal aspects of their lives. Let them start the conversations about their spouse, kids, and childhoods. You never know when a seemingly innocent question such as “Do you have any kids?” could be met with an uncomfortable “No”.
So without further ado, here are three questions to ask a new co-worker:
1. What was the last book/movie you read/watched?
This is a low risk question. Everyone has read at least one book or watched one movie in their lifetime. Even if it wasn’t recent, they shouldn’t have trouble coming up with something they’ve read or watched.
Plus, the answer to this question could give you an opportunity to bond over a common interest. For example, have you also read/watched it recently? Do you enjoy the same genres? Can you recommend a similar book/movie that you enjoyed? Is it part of a series or fandom that you are both a part of? You see where I’m going with this.
2. Do you know your MBTI personality type?
The Myers Briggs Type Indicator personality test has been long used in leadership development and coaching. Based on a series of questions, a person’s preferences are identified for these four dichotomies:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I)
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
When combined, there are sixteen (16) possible personality types. For example, I am an INTJ, often referred to as the Intellect. None of the 16 types are inherently better or worse than the other which is why it’s pretty unlikely that you will put the person in an embarrassing position to share their type.
This will also give you invaluable information about the way the person works, i.e. how they make decisions, how they process information and how they like things to be structured. There are a multitude of books and research done on this topic as it relates to team dynamics, leadership and organizational development. However, just being aware of these will help you understand your co-workers’ preferences and way of thinking.
If they (or you) have never taken the test, there are many free versions of it online. They are not the “official” Myers Briggs test, which you have to purchase, but they will give a good idea of where someone falls in any of the four categories.
3. What’s your favorite place to eat around here? Or if they are brand new to the area: What type of food/restaurants do you like?
There is a lot of good that can come out of this question. You might discover your new favorite lunch spot or a new favorite dish at the restaurant you’ve been going to for years. I discovered the BEST sweet potato fries at a nearby bistro this way!
Other than the actual food related benefits, there are some other advantages of asking this question as well. It can make coming up with Secret Santa gifts quite easy (think gift cards). Or, if the person has moved into the area for a new job, they will undoubtedly be looking for recommendations of places to eat out. Giving them a few places to try out will definitely get them on your good side from the get-go.
